


touch starved

by jwonwoo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Uzumaki Naruto-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 13:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17581910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jwonwoo/pseuds/jwonwoo
Summary: Naruto grows up wondering why no one touches him.





	touch starved

The first affectionate touch Naruto remembers is from Sandaime. Jiji patted him on the back to usher Naruto forward into the apartment he would grow up in. The day was beyond complicated; Naruto felt confused and excited that he was allowed soft, nice embraces like the parents around Konoha give their children.

But then, Jiji told him he would be living alone in the apartment and everything went sour. Naruto learned then that even nice touches can have negative intentions.

It isn’t until Iruka that he receives pure, selfless affection. Iruka protecting him from the giant shuriken, ruffling his hair, cuffing him on the head. Until Iruka, Naruto couldn’t recall the last time someone touched him to protect, to console, to love.

The physical contact that stood out in Naruto’s mind were the shoves, pushes, trips, and kicks from every citizen in Konoha. He didn’t know he was allowed to receive affection and love until Iruka became like a dad to him. For a while, that was all Naruto had and he clung to it.

When Naruto accidentally kissed Sasuke, he didn’t know what to think. He only ever saw parents and couples kiss. It was gross and icky, but he knew it was supposed to be a good touch. The girls in class were constantly screeching about what it would be like to have their first kiss and with Sasuke? That was their dream. Naruto, on the other hand, didn’t really see what the craze was about.

Naruto discovered why kissing was nice from Tsunade. He received his first, purposeful, kiss from Tsunade directly on his forehead. It felt stronger than those hair ruffles from Iruka; it made tears well up in Naruto’s eyes and for the first time in years, he wondered about his parents. The kiss was as hurtful as it was healing, just like Tsunade.

He kisses one girl and one boy while traveling with Jiraiya. Naruto liked it at first, but he couldn’t stay focused on them. He barely knew them and vice versa. Naruto could only think about the one person that really did know him, which really ruined the mood.

Seeing Sasuke for the first time in three years was a revelation for Naruto. Sasuke’s arm around him made his mind stop and body relax. He knew Sasuke could kill him then with a Chidori through his chest or a kiss to his lips.

To his dismay, Naruto traded more punches than kisses with Sasuke, more life-ending hits than invigorating caresses. When he slept, Naruto’s dreams were filled with replacing the punches and kicks and jabs with soft touches and small kisses.

Waking up next to Sasuke at the Valley of the End made him hope the fights would end and the comfort would begin. All he wanted was to comfort Sasuke; hug him, kiss him, hold him close enough to feel his heartbeat. There was no way that could happen now, the empty space where his forearm used to be prevented Naruto from moving at all.

 ---

It’s not until they’re in the hospital in Konoha that Naruto does what he’s been dreaming of for all these years. Sasuke’s still recovering while Naruto’s almost completely healed thanks to Kurama. He can’t bring himself to leave Sasuke’s side though, so he’s still in the hospital.

It’s dark, the only light coming from the moonlight seeping through the cracks in the blinds. Naruto watches the shadows play over Sasuke’s face as he sleeps. Sasuke’s nose crinkles in his sleep and Naruto thinks he’s absolutely in love with his best friend.

He walks over to Sasuke’s still form and, finally, places a small, soft kiss on his forehead. Naruto leans away only to see Sasuke’s eyes wide open—“What are you doing?”

Definitely not sleeping with his eyes open then. Naruto shoots up straight, ignoring the ache all over his body.

“I, uh, you looked really peaceful is all…”

“You kiss a lot of unconscious people?”

“Shut up, you dick, you’re ruining this,” Leave it to Sasuke to make him laugh when he’s about to confess his undying love.

“What exactly am I ruining?”

“A confession, now shut it,” Sasuke’s face slackens in surprise. Now or never, Naruto supposes.

“I—grew up fighting and lashing out at everyone. Then, the Academy happened and threw weapons into the mix. I only knew how to communicate through hurling insults and shuriken. But then, we met and we fought and screamed at each other, too, but we’d always bandage our wounds together and we only did it to learn together. Once you left, I was fighting you because I cared for you. I care for you so much—“

Naruto’s tearing up, he’s somehow ended up on the edge of Sasuke’s bed, but he can’t stop—

“And I’m not sure when it turned into more than just best friend-love but it did and I feel like a scared little kid all over again. It took me so long to feel like I deserved affection and love and care, now I wanna give that all to you, but then what do I have? How does any of this work anyway? I just—I love you.”

The tears are flowing freely now. He tries to cover his face with his and Sasuke’s joined hands—wait, joined hands?

Their fingers are intertwined, but Naruto has no idea when that happened. He meets Sasuke’s eyes, their brutal and so, so beautiful.

“How long have you been thinking about all this?” Sasuke whispers. Naruto’s shoulders relax at the softness in his voice.

“I don’t know, forever? Since we were genin? Definitely, since I first found you after three years,” Naruto mumbles.

Sasuke hums and pulls Naruto’s hand towards him, pulling Naruto along with it.

“We’re really opposites in so many ways. You’ve been building up all these feelings for years and I’ve been tearing them apart,” Naruto doesn’t like where this is going, “But, it’s not a give and take between us. It’s always been symbiotic.”

Naruto stares at Sasuke in confusion. He can’t possibly be saying what Naruto thinks he’s saying, right?

Sasuke sighs, “I want to give to you as much as you give to me, Idiot. It won’t be easy, but I want to try—this,” He punctuates with a squeeze to their joined hands.

Naruto’s hot and sweaty and feeling completely unattractive as he holds back his sobs. At the same time, Sasuke’s touch is the most comforting thing Naruto has ever experienced, just feeling the heat from Sasuke’s body makes him feel safe.

“Naruto, stop crying…” Sasuke lets go of his hand to wipe the tears from Naruto’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m a mess—” 

“Hm. It’s not me for once,” Sasuke jokes or as close to joking Sasuke can get. It makes Naruto laugh nonetheless.

They’re close now; Sasuke’s eyes scouring every inch of Naruto’s tear-stained face. His hand cradles Naruto’s cheek, thumb slowly rubbing back and forth along one whisker mark. He rests his hand on top of Sasuke’s.

When their lips meet, Naruto knows this is what he was waiting for: Sasuke’s hand on his cheek, Sasuke’s lips against his, Sasuke’s love. Naruto’s ready for a lifetime of this.

**Author's Note:**

> vi and ivy spurred this by saying forehead kisses (sorry it wasn't platonic) ((not sorry bc they're in love))


End file.
